Sr. Mariana Koonce, RSM
We conclude this season with the unique perspective of Sr. Mariana Koonce, RSM, a physician and Navy veteran who discovered a latent call to religious life with the Religious Sisters of Mercy.
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The disciples said to Jesus,
“Now you are talking plainly, and not in any figure of speech.
Now we realize that you know everything
and that you do not need to have anyone question you.
Because of this we believe that you came from God.”
Jesus answered them, “Do you believe now?
Behold, the hour is coming and has arrived
when each of you will be scattered to his own home
and you will leave me alone.
But I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
I have told you this so that you might have peace in me.
In the world you will have trouble,
but take courage, I have conquered the world.”
Excerpts from the Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States of America, second typical edition © 2001, 1998, 1997, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc., Washington, DC. Used with permission. All rights reserved. No portion of this text may be reproduced by any means without permission in writing from the copyright owner. The full readings of the day from the Lectionary are available here.
When my late husband was going through the worst of his cancer treatments, I despised pithy sayings like, “Have a nice day,” or “Carpe diem!” I’m not having a nice day, and please don’t tell me to seize the day. No, thank you. That is exhausting.
To me, this passage has often seemed like another platitude: “Take courage, for I have conquered the world.” In my most cynical moments, I don’t care that Jesus has conquered the world. What good is that doing me when it’s 9 p.m. and I’m still doing dishes? Or when the third child this week has come down with strep throat, and at 2 a.m., I am setting up another humidifier?
I pray each morning before my kids get up, and when I do, I visualize myself in the story. In today’s gospel, I imagine myself as one of the apostles, having gone through the most consequential moment of my life: watching the person I love most in the world die an agonizing death. The closest I can come is to resurrect the feelings I had when my husband died. I was raw, scared, and deeply lonely.
And then Jesus shows up! WHAT?! And not even with the best of news. He tells them that they will be scattered, that they will have trouble in the world. But also, he tells them there’s no need to worry because ultimately, he has already conquered all of it. They can endure whatever is in front of them.
After my husband’s death, my life, too, has been a mixed bag of difficult blessings. I married a widower, and together, we have five children. Blending a family has been so difficult that, had I known how hard it would be, I might not have done it!
But that deep, raw, unadulterated suffering also bears the fruit of total surrender. If God needs to scatter me, he can scatter me. If I need to have trouble, I can handle it. It’s not that I’m looking forward to those things if they happen, but also, I know the truth: I am not alone.
Jesus, Light of the World, you know that there is trouble in the world. But you shed your divine light on us all, and illumine our way to the Father. You know all in love, you see all in hope, and you conquer all in peace. Though we may be scattered, grant us each a courageous heart that rests in you, in the peace that surpasses all understanding. Amen.
A PODCAST BY FAITH ND
Sr. Mariana Koonce, RSM
We conclude this season with the unique perspective of Sr. Mariana Koonce, RSM, a physician and Navy veteran who discovered a latent call to religious life with the Religious Sisters of Mercy.
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Fr. Lou DelFra, CSC
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Lisa Orchen
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