Today’s passage is astonishing when we think of Jesus at 12 years old, asking his own mother, “Did you not know?” With a certain tone, this is not a question I would welcome kindly from my children or from anyone, really. Our models of faith, Joseph and Mary, are understandably frustrated, angry, and befuddled with their child. Mary expresses her astonishment, “Why have you done this to us?” And Jesus again, then provides an answer by questioning his parents.

This dialogue is much easier to read than to incorporate into our own lives as an example of open exchange amidst family members. When was the last time, with vulnerability, I engaged at this level of honesty with my family or friends? With a stranger? With God? For me, it’s often easier to avoid conflict and lingering questions out of anxiety, and unfortunately, consequences tend to reveal themselves years later. It’s easier to decide who I think God is, and not question or listen closely for understanding.

But there is also comfort—if Mary and Joseph questioned and struggled, then I will and should, too. Living our vocations isn’t easy, and it wasn’t easy for anyone in today’s story. The excruciating three days of loss, the reunion with tension, and the obedience that follow are real experiences we can remind ourselves of when faced with life’s challenges. These are necessary and good to further our own interior lives and to reveal the liberating love of God.