The idea of martyrdom, of dying for something greater than yourself, has fascinated me since I was young. My wife Mary shares this captivation with martyrdom—she chose St. Joan of Arc as her Confirmation saint. We both admire martyrs for their perseverance and faith; their courage in the face of torture and death; and their unshakeable trust in God and His mercy.

Naturally, today’s Gospel is one of my favorites. The idea of laying my life down for my friends—my family, my fellow Catholics, or my countrymen—compelled me to consider a career in the military, which, ultimately, I did not pursue.

Instead, after my graduation from Notre Dame, I began working in the cyber security department of a Fortune 500 company. While I enjoyed many aspects of my job, I often found myself jealous of the work that Mary did as a nurse, caring for the needs of others, helping those who cannot help themselves. I, too, wanted the personal satisfaction of knowing that my work would have a positive impact on others’ lives.

Two weeks before Easter, my perspective changed abruptly, when Mary gave birth to our first child. In the subsequent weeks, we have both been devoted to caring for our son full-time. I recognize now that laying down one’s life does not mean that I need to die for others, but that I should live to serve others. Having spent the past four weeks caring for and bonding with our baby boy, I have come to realize that how much my career satisfies me is far less important than those for whom I do it.

If I do not devote my living days to caring for my son, loving my wife, and serving and praising God, how could I possibly die for any of them?