It was a quintessentially cold and miserable winter night in South Bend when a friend and I traversed the slushy sidewalks from our off-campus Irish Row apartments to Legends to enjoy stand-up comedy and the legendary $2 margaritas. I was overwhelmed at the time by any number of things—schoolwork, romantic angst, our impending graduation and the uncertainty beyond it. As we walked, I shared these worries with my friend. I felt that I was falling short of some unspecified but stringent, self-imposed standard. My friend responded kindly, “You’re not doing any worse than anyone else, honey.” His words reminded me that night that we are each navigating our own challenges, we are not alone in this struggle, and comparing ourselves to others does not help us get anywhere faster.

Two and a half years later, today’s Gospel brought me right back to that otherwise un-noteworthy night. The people who approach Jesus want to know that they, at least, are more virtuous, more worthy, safer from disaster or failure than their neighbors. Despite what his audience would like to believe, Jesus points out our equality in God’s eyes. We are judged according to how closely we conform our hearts to God, not if we are “better” or “worse” than our neighbor.

We use these terms like “worse” or “better” to compare ourselves to others rather than trying to conform our own selves to God’s image of us. Living a life of virtue is hard. Rather than working to become the best version of ourselves, it seems easier to try becoming the better version of someone else.

But in the end, relativity is irrelevant. We are all flawed, we all fall short but we can aim to help each other become not better images of one another, but better images of God.