As a high school chemistry teacher, I remember working with a student who was capable, but had begun to disengage in class. He stopped completing assignments, avoided participation, and seemed convinced that he simply was not a “science person.” One day, I asked him to stay after class. I encouraged him to recognize that the effort he was giving did not reflect his ability or the potential I saw in him.

He became quiet and defensive. At the time, I do not think he heard my concern or confidence in him, only disappointment. And I, perhaps too quickly, assumed that my words had been clear. Neither of us asked the question that might have helped us understand the other.

Over the following weeks, I continued checking in with him, helping him after school, and refusing to let him disappear into the crowd. Slowly, his work improved. Near the end of the year, he told me that he had initially thought I was simply being hard on him. Only later did he realize that I had challenged him because I believed he was capable of more.

My experience as a Catholic school teacher helps me hear today’s gospel differently. The disciples listen to Jesus, but they cannot yet understand what he is saying. His words don’t fit their expectations, and fear keeps them from asking him what he means. Sometimes, understanding comes only after we accompany one another.

My student did not immediately understand that challenge came from a place of care, just as the disciples did not yet understand that Jesus’ suffering would become the means of salvation. The invitation for us is not to understand everything at once, but to remain in relationship, to keep listening, and to find courage to ask the questions we are afraid to ask.