Daily Gospel Reflection
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April 2, 2020
Jesus said to the Jews, “Very truly, I tell you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.”
The Jews said to him, “Now we know that you have a demon. Abraham died, and so did the prophets; yet you say, ‘Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.’ Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died? The prophets also died. Who do you claim to be?”
Jesus answered, “If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, he of whom you say, ‘He is our God,’ though you do not know him. But I know him; if I would say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you. But I do know him and I keep his word. Your ancestor Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day; he saw it and was glad.”
Then the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?”
Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, before Abraham was, I am.”
So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.
How often am I throwing stones at Jesus? When I imagine myself in the story, I feel the anger at Jesus for revealing something about myself that I would rather not see. When I feel this anger, the childish part of me wants to pick up the stone and show Jesus my rejection. I want to run away and hide, hide myself in the distraction of work, friends, or even what looks like prayer.
Superficially, my hiding worked for most of my 20s: I achieved success academically, professionally, and socially. Life looked good, but I still felt restless, leading me to try life in a monastery. Here, I was stripped of my distractions: work was paused; goodbyes were said to friends; prayer became less speaking to God and more listening to God.
“If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing.” Jesus is calling me out for building my success, congratulating myself on my effort to build a good life. “I would be a liar like you.” Jesus is forced to shock me by calling me a liar to get my attention. And that shock makes me angry—angry enough to fight Jesus, to argue with him, “Who do you claim to be?” Can I really believe he wants to bring me to his Father? Can I really believe Jesus is the only one who can do that? Can I really believe it’s not a function of my own effort?
As long as I hold onto that anger, Jesus will be invisible to me. As long as I try to control, I will not be able to find Jesus in the temple. But there is hope. If I let go of these stones in my hands, then I am free to take his outstretched hand and let him lead me home.
Prayer
God in heaven, Jesus your Son spoke the truth, a truth rejected by many who heard him. We strive to live in that truth—we want our Lenten observances of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving to keep us faithful. Make us ever more aware of the life-giving promises that Jesus proclaimed, that we may live forever in your sight. Amen.
Saint of the Day
St. Mary of Egypt is a famous saint of the early church, whose passionate conversion to Christianity led her to the Judean desert. Her story is read on the fifth Sunday of Lent in the Eastern Orthodox Christian Church.
Most of the information we have about her life comes from St. Sophronius of Jerusalem, who recorded her biography in the seventh century. The legend begins with the story of a fourth-century monk called Zosima who travels to a monastery outside Jerusalem, searching for an elder who can teach him to follow the Lord with his whole heart.
While staying at this monastery, he is led into the desert and encounters a strange figure, who flees from him. Zosima feels sure this figure is a spirit of great holiness. He runs after her, calling out in the name of God to stop. She halts, but she commands him to look away, as she is not wearing any clothes. Zosima provides her with his cloak so they can converse.
The figure is Mary of Egypt, and, now clothed, she begins to speak with Zosima. Holiness radiates from her. Zosima begs her to tell him how she came to be there, imploring her to tell the whole story and not let her modesty or humility prevent her. Mary of Egypt begins to tell the story of how she ran away from her home at a young age to the bustling metropolis of Alexandria. Consumed by her overwhelming lust and passion, Mary lived on the street of Alexandria as a prostitute, but often did not even accept money from her clients. She was completely devoured by her desire for love, for fulfillment, which led her, she says, to the depths of depravity.
She falls in with a group of men setting out on a sea voyage to Jerusalem, where she hopes to find even more potential customers in the crowds of pilgrims gathered for the great feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. Curious, Mary follows the crowds of pilgrims to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. But, as she approaches the doorway, she finds that an invisible force prevents her from entering. Three times, she tries to enter, and she begins to weep, frustrated and desperate to enter. She begins to understand it is her impurity and her sin that is preventing her from entering. Calling upon Mary for assistance, Mary of Egypt beats her breast and begs for forgiveness for her sins. She prays that the Mother of God might allow her to enter the church and pray in front of the Cross of Christ.
Suddenly, Mary is able to enter the church, and she makes her way to the foot of the cross, where she asks pardon for her sins. A voice instructs her to go across the Jordan into the Judean desert, and so Mary obeys. With just a few loaves of bread, Mary lives for seventeen years in the desert, purifying her body and soul, learning to rely entirely on God. Zosima is in awe of her wisdom and holiness, and Sophronius movingly recounts the tender reverence between the two holy figures. Zosima comes back to meet her one year later. The next year, Mary has died, and Zosima buries her body with the help of a lion.
St. Mary of Egypt is the patron saint of converts and chastity, of those with great desires who wish to bring their desires to the light of God. She is also the protector against skin diseases and fevers, as she surely had to deal with both in the desert!
St. Mary of Egypt, who followed Christ's call into the desert—pray for us!
Image Credit: Our featured image of St. Mary of Egypt is in the public domain. Last accessed February 13, 2025 on Wikimedia Commons.
