By Father David Halm, C.S.C.

“What is happening to us is not as significant as with whom it is happening,” said Archbishop Timothy Dolan recently, describing what we can learn from Mary. “At both the crib and the cross, she is close to Jesus. That is fidelity.”

If we really consider it, much of the pain we suffer is not just from life’s disasters: the cancers and rejections and loneliness and divorces and addictions and sudden deaths. Perhaps most of our suffering comes from how little of it all we understand. “Why God?!” is the natural question we ask. We want to understand because then we can rationalize, then we can manage the impact, then we can warn others to prevent it. Perhaps then we can medicate it and numb the pain.

Not that understanding “why” will change the reality, but certainly it is better than being so utterly confused and in the dark. Yet, we who stand by Mary’s side at the cross of Jesus must also stand fast as she does. Even when we do not understand – especially when we don’t understand.

The grace that strengthened Mary at the cross is the grace for which we pray also – trust in divine providence. We trust that God is not abandoning us. How hard this is to believe in the moment of trial!

Mary’s whole vocation as mother and her seven sorrows reveal how deep and constant is her trust in God’s plan and promise. At the risk of sounding maudlin, let us imagine Mary standing at the cross amidst the very men who conspired to torture and kill her son—men who mock and laugh at her child and gamble for his tunic, a tunic that she probably made for him! Heartbreak fails to describe this moment. Yet, where does she go? Surely the same deceiver who whispered in Peter’s ear to deny Jesus whispered to her to escape this pain somehow. But we know she remains. Our Lady does not leave Jesus’ side because only in him is there salvation. He is her one hope.

We have more than just Mary’s example to help us when we shoulder our crosses – indeed we have been given her as our very mother. She intercedes for us, and she always points us to her beloved Son.

Jesus’ victory over evil is our hope because he is the only way we shall conquer the evil we will confront in our daily life of discipleship. Mary saw this—she she stood in the midst of pure evil and suffering and now reigns in heaven with her Son. Let us endure with her – whether we understand the designs of Providence or not – and let us endure and reign with him. Let us come to the side of Our Lady and remain with her there in the presence of her Son, our one hope.